limbo is ok. it is ok to be in limbo sometimes in life – in you job, with friends or family. it gives you time to reflect, to think, to plan for the next step. limbo is something that always happens in life to everyone at some stage. we keep going on a constant path, juggling all the things in life – our goal is to keep busy, to be productive, to strive for more, to gain more order in life, to understand more, to learn more, to experience more, to make mistakes, to learn from our mistakes, to be positive, to push harder, to have bad days, to have good days – and to be in limbo – long or short – we go into limbo in areas of our life. we get confused, we get out of sync, we get worried, we want to have routine back, we want to know what is next, we want to know what to expect each day, we don’t like limbo. but if you look at limbo as a good thing – as a thing to help us get through change, as a thing to help us understand who we are, as a thing to appreciate, as a time of reflection – then we can accept a state of limbo. but you must use limbo to prepare for the next organized phase. do not waste limbo. use limbo to your advantage to make the next stage better. limbo is good. embrace limbo like you should with all change. change will always come. limbo will sometimes come. embrace both and use them both to your advantage.
in life, you rarely get what you think you will get – it is always below your expectations. the problem is you have high expectations – which is a good thing – to wish and work for more. i don’t want to say lower your expectations. keep your expectations high as it keeps your optimism high and it keeps your positive energy high – it keeps you happy – which is the key to life – staying positive through ups and downs – and keeping happy. but when you do get something less than what you were expecting – you do feel let down – you do feel like you should have got more – you do feel confused and deflated a bit. this will happen when you have a vision of the future and it is filled with big rewards or windfalls – those high expectations we keep. however, you should feel good for getting something – as it is always better than getting nothing. look at the positive side of things – you did get rewarded for your work and effort – though it wasn’t the big win you were expecting – you got something and you should be grateful. you should see this as success and you should be happy and ready for the next opportunity that comes from this success. so bottom line is – life is tough and we rarely get everything we want – so be happy for the wins (no matter how big or small) – because you have made progress and should be happy, grateful and ready for what’s next. take what you can get and be happy. stop complaining for what you didn’t get.
when you start a new job, you are busy in the first month. but when you start a new job and you are extra busy – that is a rare thing. when you want to work more and more – when you have dinner, then go back to work – when you have so many people to reach to get the word out – when you have a jump on the market and time is of the essence – you want to spend every minute getting out there – when you don’t have time to read the news in the morning anymore – when you don’t have time to write a blog post until the last day of the month – extra busy is good – and we should all want to be extra busy during the heart of our career – of our life. relish that extra busy time.
what can you do. you have hit the mid-life phase. you have family, wife to work for. you can’t just quit your job. you have to keep working no matter what – to keep the train going. you also want to see your family as much as possible. you don’t want a job that has you traveling all over. you want to grab these fleeting days/weeks/months/years with your kids before they fly the coop for good. you have to make that your main focus. to do this, you must sometimes do jobs that are not as exciting as the ones you had in the past. the jobs that were in the big city – things were moving fast. you never watched the clock. you had less stress in all areas. kids were very young – stared at them all weekend – they were the entertainment. now they are growing up – becoming more expensive – you want to see them as often as possible – so you stay in your current job. this is to pay the bills – to see them – to keep things going – until they go to college. you have to make sacrifices. you have to be bored with your job – you have to accept the boredom – you have to accept the monotony of the job. you have to get that check every 2 weeks. you have to suck it up and keep going. you have to do this for the family. this you must learn. you can’t just jump from job to job. you have to be precise in your movements. you have to be precise in your judgement. you have to be methodical in your jumping. you have everything hanging on you. they are not letting go – they are getting heavier by the year. you must slog on. you must be bored. you have to be bored. it is a marathon. be bored, push on – change will come when the time is right or when you wake up one day and say enough is enough. but do you really have a choice. yes, but only a calculated choice now – no more missteps – you can’t afford it now. maybe later.
we have all been beaten down by someone at some point in our lives. this is not a physical beat down, but a mental, emotional beat down. to be beaten down is to harass, subdue, or crush the spirit of – as defined in the dictionary. these defined words are quite accurate. people can crush your spirit, they can harass you, they can subdue you – they can make you not care as much as you normally would about a relationship, a task or a job. we have all felt this way on the job. your opinion doesn’t matter – just do what we say and we will crush your spirit in the meantime. keep doing your job, but do it better because what you are doing is not enough. why do we continue to take this beat down – because we need the money, we need the job, we are too lazy to look for another job, we think things will get better, we think the company will hit the big time one day and we will all benefit – but we just have to endure the beat down to get there. many could not do what you do. they would have walked out on day 2. but you can take the beat down. you have learned to accept it because you have another life outside of work and that life keeps you going – it keeps you happy – but the beat down can occasionally spill into your happy life, causing some problems – but not enough to affect it too much – not enough to quit. you actually like what you are doing at work – but you must endure the beat down to stay there. sometimes you want to quit – sometimes they want to fire you – but it doesn’t happen and you keep going – day after day, week after week, month after month – and then year after year. you get used to it – they get used to you. it becomes normal – but it is not normal. you do learn how to cope better – you do learn how to be patient – you do learn how to be calm. that is all good – but don’t let the beat down break your spirit – it can crush it but not break it. you need to get through at the end – stronger, wiser – and with the same zest for life. you will endure the beat down as long as you are supposed to endure it – and not one day longer. all results will be good because the next phase won’t have the beat down. this is your time to endure the beat down – so suck it up, evolve, and move on.
there is something very interesting about staying at a company until the main task is complete. most people will say you should leave if you are not happy or the pay is too low or the people are not that great. but what if you looked past all of that and you just stayed. and if by staying you helped get the company to the finish line…eventually. you helped the company finish the job because you stayed. by staying somewhere and not giving up – you succeeded – and that is very interesting. it is the old concept of if you just stay and keep showing up and keep working – then you will ultimately succeed – and build a strong resolve in the process. isn’t that what life is all about – not giving up on something because you are not always happy. if we can all do this a bit more, we can get to our goals. at the end of the day, you won’t remember the pain or the heartache you suffered over the years – you will only remember that you stayed and you won in the end – and this helps you satisfy yourself and this helps you reflect in a positive way and this helps you go easier into the final phase of your life. think about the concept of just staying where you are and never giving up until they close the doors or you reach your goal.
coworkers come and go – it is a fact of life and a natural flow of life. in your career, you meet good people, bad people, people you become friends with, people you don’t become friends with – this is all part of work life. in the cycle, there is always a time when a coworker moves on or when you move on – this is what i call the final loop with a coworker. you have shared good times, but now those times are over. you have your final conversation, your final lunch, your final project together, your final walk, your final loop. you might feel sad or empty when that person leaves or when you leave. you might look around the office and feel lonely – like there is no one left to talk to, no one left to relate with. but this is a part of life – saying good-bye to people you might never see again. you must move on and re-focus and dig deeper into your work. more folks will come along or you will also move along. take a minute to reflect about the co-worker or about your experience at the job – and move on. like anything, don’t live in the past. do your final loop and look to the future again. this is what you must do.
you have to hang in there even when you don’t want to. you have to put aside all negative feelings and just do your job. you have to do things in life that you don’t want to do at the time. this is what is on your table right now – so smile and do it. to keep things on track, you have to bite your tongue and not say a word. people are counting on you and you must keep being there for them – for the people that pay your bills and for your family. this is along the lines of never giving up until the last moment when going on is not an option. this is a big part of life – doing things that you don’t want to do. if you hang in there and do what you have to do – at the highest level – then all things will come full circle and the days will eventually get better – but only because you did not give up and because you did what needed to be done. hang in there and do it.
always have options. you must have options. you must think about options. you must plan for the unexpected or the expected. keep other options going. always tell people that you are open to other options. do not close any doors that could be a possible option. if you have options, you can then feel more calm – you can feel more at ease – knowing there are other options that you can choose if needed. never trust anyone 100% except your family and close friends. if you keep some doubt in your mind about your current situation, then you will create options. options are good. options are the keys to long-term success. options keep your train running – keep you on the path, keep the lights on, keep the family safe. if you do not have options, start to think about what could be options. you do not have to proactively search for options. you just have to keep your ears open – you have to keep your door ajar. continue to focus on your current work, but also be open to options. options allow you to move from one lily pad to the next in an easy, seamless way. have an option, have a lily pad.
look – we are all human. so we feel and think the same in many ways – whether in bangkok or toledo. and one of things that we all dislike to a certain extent is monday or the first day of the work week in your country. and if it is not monday for you – it is at least one day of the week. it is that day of the week where you feel blah and you just want to get through it – no matter how busy or bored you are during that day. you doubt yourself on that day more than any other day – and when you wake up the next day – you feel completely different – like you are ready for anything – you are confident and ready to go. but on that “bad” day – you might have negative thoughts or thoughts of hopelessness – and you want to avoid everyone until you are in a better mood the next day. how do you get through it. first -acknowledge that this is not your best day. 2nd – don’t make any big decisions on this day. 3rd – avoid conflict. 4th – think of what you will accomplish the next day. 5th – think about the end of the day and the things you will do as you wind down this day – getting closer to the next day so starting to feel better. ultimately you will have to go through these days over and over in life so you need a plan to get through them without any major problems. and you can’t avoid this day by not going to work, etc. – because the next day will then be the monday. you must start the monday like a normal monday – but you can then change it later in the day to make it better. so start the day as usual to check the box and feel the monday emotions and then start to shift out of the blues as the day progresses – following the 5 steps. some things are inevitable in life and we have to endure – so recognize it, endure it and move on.