don’t overanalyze

don’t overanalyze the relationships that you are in – especially your main relationship with your wife, husband, significant other.  if you overanalyze every little thing that is said or every little thing that happens in the relationship – then you will not have that relationship much longer.  so often we wear down the people we love with continuous analyzation – this happens all the time and it leads to many break-ups.  the other person is there because you love them and they love you – for who you are and for who they are.  they are not there for you to analyze them.  yes, you can question things.  yes, you can disagree.  yes, you can dispute things.  but, no, you cannot analyze them over and over.  you cannot analyze everything they say and do.  this is not the way a relationship should be.  stop overanalyzing them right now – or the end will come.  they put up with your continuous analyzation because they love you.  but one day they will take no more and it will be over.  stop yourself from asking too many questions and from overanalyzing everything.  stop yourself.  don’t overanalyze.


daily happiness

you must have daily happiness to get through life.  you must have things in every day that you look forward to.  you must have at least 1 thing per day that you look forward to.  this is key to getting through life relatively happy.  it can be eating lunch, it can be watching a tv show, it can be doing a workout or taking a run, it can be reading a book, it can be seeing someone, it can be helping someone, it can be the drive home, it can be doing things at work – it can be any of these things.  but the important thing is that you have at least 1 thing to look forward to – that you enjoy doing – that gets you from one day to the next.  if you have nothing to look forward to each day – then you must deliberately put something on your schedule that you know you want to do and you must do that thing every day.  human nature says that you have naturally figured this out already – but if you are in a rut and don’t have this figured out – go figure it out now – right now.  waiting and mulling through life makes no sense.  why are you here – but to enjoy some things in life – and to enjoy some things in life every day.  do it now.


hitting someone

you must never hit someone when it is not in the case of self defense.  for self defense – after you have been hit by someone – you do have a right to hit back and defend yourself.  but to hit someone when not provoked physically is not acceptable in a civilized society.  this you must learn when you are young.  this concept must be enforced by your parents.  do not hit people.  men often are the ones who hit other men first – and sometimes they hit women – all unacceptable.  also unacceptable is when a woman hits another woman or man first – unprovoked.  you must not hit anyone.  you must not allow verbal provocation to cause you to lash out physically against someone.  this is crossing a line you should never cross.  this action does not have any rational explanation.  this action should shock a civilized person.  everyone thinks about physical action sometimes -but you must not act on these thoughts.  do not hit someone.  do not get physical.  this is unacceptable and can cause great alarm to friends and family.  seek professional help to get you out of this very bad area.


study discipline

when you are a kid, you need to gradually figure out how to discipline yourself in the study area – and create good study habits.  these study habits will carry over to your work life.  you need to allot certain hours of the day to study.  you need to study more in the daytime than in the nighttime – or this will create a bad cycle of less sleep, less study, etc.  you need to stay away from cell phones, etc. during the week -limit your time using the phone during the week – save it for the weekend.  you need to create a fun-work balance – this carries over to the real world down the road.  you need to quickly see that social life should not outweigh study-life.  you need to see this on your own or you need to be made to see this.  the mantra is study more in the daytime and use less data.  you are smart enough to do very well but you still must take time to study and do the things you must do to succeed.


Election 2016

November 9, 2016

To My Girls,

I know you must be confused with the election results that has put Donald Trump into the White House.  I know that you did not like the things that Trump has said about women and other groups.  I too did not like these things he said.  I was confused by what to do and who to vote for in this election.  I was also confused by the results of the election.  Why did a man like Donald Trump get elected to be President?  Many Americans are asking this question today.  The answer is not a simple one, but one can begin to understand why change occurs in society.  Change occurs in a democratic society because people are not happy with the current state of affairs – in their own lives and in the country.  When enough people are not happy, change will occur.  This is what happened in this election.  People wanted change.

There is at least one thing you can be proud of in this election.  You had the first female presidential nominee in American history – and this is a powerful statement to all women and girls in America.  It tells women and girls of America that it is possible for a woman to rise up and take on the male dominated arena of politics.  It is possible for a woman to one day lead this country.  With this election, women have taken a big step towards being in the White House.  Even though a woman did not get elected to be President this time – a woman did get nominated by a major party to run for President.  This is a big step, and one day a woman will take the final step into the White House.  You can feel proud and more confident as you grow up in this world.

We must now do the right thing and stand behind the person elected President, even if we do not agree with all of what they stand for and what they have said in the past.  As Americans, we must come together and support this new President – this is the way of democracy.  We must support our President and have hope that he will do the right thing for all Americans.  This is our only choice now because we must respect what the people have decided.  This is the American way.  If we do not follow the American way, then we abandon all that America stands for from the very first day that George Washington took office.  We must stand together now.  We must come together and support our new President.




close your mouth sometimes

why do you continue to open your mouth in social settings and say stupid things.  this is a problem that we all face.  things just come out when in conversation and then you later think – why did i say that.  you might talk trash about another person or say something that will upset the person you are talking to.  you need to learn to keep your mouth closed and not say everything you are thinking.  i get it – you want to keep the conversation going.  you want to keep the conversation interesting – so you fill it up with things best left unsaid.  foot in mouth over and over.  it is very hard to learn how not to put your foot in your mouth.  but in casual conversation, just tow the line – take the high road – keep it clean – tell yourself over and over – don’t talk trash, don’t say what will hurt others, don’t gossip.  you need to constantly remind yourself – don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it.  you will feel better and you will be a better person.  this is one of the fundamental things in life that we all deal with – but others will start to evolve and will learn not to open their mouth all the time.  on the other hand – don’t be a staring mute with an air of superiority – that is actually worse.  so stay in the middle and learn to close your mouth sometimes.  do it, do it, do it!


you must give in

after time, after you get older – there are some things you must stop fighting about.  you must give in and stop unnecessary fighting with your spouse.  your old self says keep fighting for your point.  your old self keeps pushing you to talk about the budget and talk about what things cost.  stop doing this.  if you need something, buy it.  there is no need to quote the budget as an excuse.  just give in before the fight and buy it.  you need it, buy it.  stop useless fighting.  just get in your car, drive and buy it.  why fight about what you need.  why go down a path of fighting over something you need to buy – something you need for the house or the family.  it has to happen whether you fight about it or not.  just give in and do it.  believe it or not – this is evolving even though it feels like you are being broken down.  you are not giving up – you are giving in to the inevitable – without all the fuss you used to go through.  you have seen the light and it is a shorter path to happiness and less fighting.  realize there is no use in fighting over certain things – just say it sounds good, give in and move on.  this is another level of understanding yourself that you have reached.  congrats, you found the path forward.  give in and grow up.


stop and look

go outside.  go outside your office.  go outside your house.  go outside your school.  go outside wherever you are and walk a little bit.  then find a place where you can stop.  go to a shady area if you can.  when you stop, just look as far in the distance as you can.  just stop, look and relax.  just do this for a few minutes.  you don’t have to think of anything at all.  you just have to look into the distance.  move around and look the other way.  then look closer to where you are.  then look down at your feet area.  you might see an ant moving around.  just do this.  just stop and look and relax.  then go back inside and go back to doing what you were doing before.  you need to do this.  you need to take a break here and there.  you need to go outside and just look.  this will help ease your mind from the day’s troubles.  this will help calm your mind.  you can sigh as well.  it always helps to sigh.  stop, look, sigh, – then back to reality.  it will help you get through the day.


when you wake

when you wake in the middle of the night, there is a reason.  the standard reasons are always there – worried, scared, troubled.  but there is another reason for waking up in the night.  it is a specific reason that you must find out.  it is your job to find out why you awoke in the night.  your mind is telling you to look for that reason.  your mind is telling you to wake up and find that reason.  it is ok to wake in the middle of the night because your mind needs you to wake up.  there is something you must remember.  there is something your must solve.  there is something you must find out.  your mind is helping you.  don’t look at waking up in the night as a bad thing.  waking up in the middle of the night is an opportunity presented to you by your brain.  you now have the chance to find out something that will help you.  next time you wake up in the middle of the night – let your mind run over your thoughts.  just lean back and relax – let your mind run – and you will find out why your mind woke you up.  you will then be happy that you found the answer.  you can then go back to sleep.  you can catch up on sleep another time.  you can get through the next day with less sleep.  it’s ok to wake up in the middle of the night.  it is a blessing.  it is a gift.  it is an opportunity.


no back and forth

when you talk to someone, there must be a back and forth conversation.  it cannot be a one sided conversation.  you must ask questions and they must ask questions.  you can’t keep “pulling teeth” forever in a relationship.  it is ok to have pauses or silence when with others – that is healthy and normal – even signifying that your friendship has reached a new level of comfort.  but that takes years to reach.  if you have no back and forth conversation at the start of the initial interaction – then this person is not your best fit for friendship.  there must be a natural flow in the early conversations.  if there is not – then give it a few more tries – and if the same scenario – simply move on.  life is way too short to stick around folks that don’t provide a back and forth conversation.  you are not being rude, you are being honest.  it is good for them and it is good for you.