we must all reach this stage in life – where we say and believe “i don’t care” – but it is very hard to reach 100%. when we are young, we care about everything and everyone. we want everyone to like us. we want to go to every event – we want to be a part of everything. FOMO drives us crazy. we think that everyone is thinking about us – that they care about us – that they care about what we are doing. so we care about them – we think about them – we want to be with them or be like them. we think that we are special and that is why people should think and care about us.
this is especially true for people born in the last half of the 1900’s. society turned more towards the “me” movement – with the baby boomers opening up their minds – believing they were special and then pitching this concept to their kids – with future generations cementing this idea into the fabric of western society through the family interaction. now we have a fully immersed society that only thinks about me,me,me – and this is further enhanced with the internet and social media. so instead of evolving away from the “me” society and the “i don’t care” attitude – where we can free our minds to live our lives without extra mental stress – we instead see a society that has more mental illness and depression. these issues are a direct result of the “me” movement filled with self indulgence, self importance, and arrogance. this is why we see more lashing out by teens, more violence, more people taking medication, etc.
what do we do? how do we break this cycle? society, as a whole, cannot break the cycle, because the roots are not at the society level but more at the individual level – where it started. as individuals, we don’t rely on society change to live our own lives – we rely on our own experiences and thoughts to live our individual lives. so we must make change at the individual level.
the first step is saying “i don’t care”
saying “i don’t care” –
-frees your mind
-helps you live your own life
-gives you self power
-removes mental anguish
-provides more focus
-allows you to live in the moment
-allows you to focus on the real people in your life
-gives you a reason not to care about everyone and everything
you must be content with what you have. you must not wish for the greener grass. you must stop wishing for anything. this is the only way you will actually achieve your dreams. if you wish for love, you will not find it. if you wish for success, you will not find it. if you wish for wealth, you will not find it. stop looking for anything and work on being happy with what you already have – love, family, health, etc. if you look around, you will see that you are blessed in many ways. you will never receive beyond what you have until you accept and appreciate what you have. it is hard to stop wanting more – as this is human nature – to take as much as you can – to get as much as you can – to want what others have. but you must stop this thinking ASAP. force yourself to appreciate what you have. do this and all your wishes and dreams will come true
be grateful for what you have right now in your life – it’s really all you ever need
it is hard to think about time and space and past and future and even present. we can never go too deep into these concepts and we struggle to find our place, our peace, our happiness. we can’t grab this moment right now and hold on to it. we can say we feel happy right now. we can look at the sky and the clouds and the trees and we can feel the breeze and the sun right now. we can say we are in the moment. we can say that and we can enjoy the moment or moments -but then they are gone and we move to the next present moments – some good, some bad. so it is frustrating that we can’t hold these present moments forever – we only have fleeting moments – just like time – fleeting. so all we really have is when we look back in time. when we look back, we see what we had – we see how good things were – even how much fun we had last weekend or on a recent trip. in the moment, we are there, doing it – we can think it is good, but we don’t know how good it was until we look back. when we look back, we see instant good memories and we realize – wow, that was good. like last week was good – but now it is gone. but the great thing is every moment and every day can become a wow moment. the good old days always look good and you think it won’t be the same. but today will look just as good when you look back as the old days look to you now. it is a crazy dynamic, but one that actually keeps us loving life – it allows us to then know that every present moment is actually a possible good memory in the future – so the cycle is complete and it is ok if we can’t hold on to the present moment – because coming back around to it when we look back is just as good.
it is hard to explain. it is the question asked forever by everyone. it is embedded deep in the human mind and soul. it is why we all live or die. it challenges us every day. it never relents. it is the up and down of life. it is happiness. brought to the public forefront many years ago, happiness is truly what we all strive for – but there is no such thing as constant happiness. we must accept that we will not always be happy – all the time. yet this is hard to do. we want to be happy all the time. we think it is the way to live. but once we accept that this is impossible, we must continue to remind ourselves of this very fact. we must understand that not being happy all the time is the natural way. we will have down times, so what we need to do is keep up our enthusiasm for life. knowing that life is not all roses, we need to keep the spark of life alive. we must not let the trials of life beat us down. we must remember we are alive right now – we are not dead yet – and while we are alive we must force ourselves to keep up our zest for life – we must keep that zest going – the same zest we had when we were younger. it was easier then but now it is harder – so you need to work harder to not let the spark die. like everything, you must never quit, never give up -and that goes for your zest for life too. keep it going. keep up your enthusiasm no matter what. if you don’t, then you lose a part of who you are.
there is no rest. it is a myth in life. you think you can rest. you think you can relax. you think we work to rest. you think we get time to rest. you think we have time to relax. you think you have time reflect. you are mistaken. this is an illusion. even when you do sleep in, you are still tired. yes, you sleep. yes, you do rest when you sleep. but, you are not conscious so you are not aware that you are resting. because time is always moving, you don’t have time to stop and rest. time pushes you along like a treadmill that never stops and that you can never get off until the end. this is why rest is an illusion. it is something we tell ourselves that we are doing. we are resting, but we are really not resting. it is because of this that we never feel rested. we search our whole lives for this rest, for this peaceful feeling of resting. but because time moves, we can never catch up and actually rest. and we never figure this concept out either. our mind wants to rest, but the mind is restless too – like time is restless. so, the only thing we can do is find peace in the little activities that make up the whole of the day. we can rest while we are working. we can rest while we are running. we can rest while we are reading. we can rest while we are watching TV. we can rest while we are on the web. you must find rest in the active moments of the day. this is where you will find peace. this is where you can find the answer to rest. it is in non-stop conscious activity where we can find rest. understand that and you can understand how to rest.
you must have daily happiness to get through life. you must have things in every day that you look forward to. you must have at least 1 thing per day that you look forward to. this is key to getting through life relatively happy. it can be eating lunch, it can be watching a tv show, it can be doing a workout or taking a run, it can be reading a book, it can be seeing someone, it can be helping someone, it can be the drive home, it can be doing things at work – it can be any of these things. but the important thing is that you have at least 1 thing to look forward to – that you enjoy doing – that gets you from one day to the next. if you have nothing to look forward to each day – then you must deliberately put something on your schedule that you know you want to do and you must do that thing every day. human nature says that you have naturally figured this out already – but if you are in a rut and don’t have this figured out – go figure it out now – right now. waiting and mulling through life makes no sense. why are you here – but to enjoy some things in life – and to enjoy some things in life every day. do it now.
go outside. go outside your office. go outside your house. go outside your school. go outside wherever you are and walk a little bit. then find a place where you can stop. go to a shady area if you can. when you stop, just look as far in the distance as you can. just stop, look and relax. just do this for a few minutes. you don’t have to think of anything at all. you just have to look into the distance. move around and look the other way. then look closer to where you are. then look down at your feet area. you might see an ant moving around. just do this. just stop and look and relax. then go back inside and go back to doing what you were doing before. you need to do this. you need to take a break here and there. you need to go outside and just look. this will help ease your mind from the day’s troubles. this will help calm your mind. you can sigh as well. it always helps to sigh. stop, look, sigh, – then back to reality. it will help you get through the day.
when you wake in the middle of the night, there is a reason. the standard reasons are always there – worried, scared, troubled. but there is another reason for waking up in the night. it is a specific reason that you must find out. it is your job to find out why you awoke in the night. your mind is telling you to look for that reason. your mind is telling you to wake up and find that reason. it is ok to wake in the middle of the night because your mind needs you to wake up. there is something you must remember. there is something your must solve. there is something you must find out. your mind is helping you. don’t look at waking up in the night as a bad thing. waking up in the middle of the night is an opportunity presented to you by your brain. you now have the chance to find out something that will help you. next time you wake up in the middle of the night – let your mind run over your thoughts. just lean back and relax – let your mind run – and you will find out why your mind woke you up. you will then be happy that you found the answer. you can then go back to sleep. you can catch up on sleep another time. you can get through the next day with less sleep. it’s ok to wake up in the middle of the night. it is a blessing. it is a gift. it is an opportunity.
you know how things happen all the time. these are things that come up and cause you worry, trouble, money, fixing, cleaning, etc. and you know how they never really go away. you might get a pause here and there. but then bam! down goes the fridge. time to buy new clothes. you need that new car. sprinklers broken. get your nails done. buy those school photos. need a family trip. the AC just went out. you got stuck with extra tixs to a game. time to pay for braces. all that money going to college savings. the water bill jumped up. new tires for safety. you went over your monthly data plan. halloween costumes. spring break coming up. buy that gift for another bday party. the unexpected wedding invite – write that check for the new couple. you have always fretted about all of these things that never seem to end. but then one day you realize that they never will end until your final day here. so what is the point of getting upset. just accept it – now that you realize it – and your life will be easier. you will lose less sleep. there is nothing you can do, so relax and accept this fact. clear your mind for other things.