it is frustrating when people in the family do not get along. but this obviously happens in every family and has happened forever –it is, inevitably, human nature to have conflict and conflicting feelings about one another –especially with the in-law thing. it is cliché and because it is cliché, it is expected. but even though it is expected, it is still very frustrating and oftentimes catches one off-guard –it was not expected. what was expected was that everyone would get along and live happily ever after. of course, not to be –but not realized until it comes out on to the table and is seen by all. but you adapt and move on –you must change your feelings a bit –you must still look to the good times of the past, but also to the changing times of the future –nothing is ever the same–and it is frustrating. the people you thought you knew all of your life suddenly reveal who they really are –as an individual –apart from the family –this is who they actually are –not the perfect image that has lived so long in the mind. but hopefully you can remake that image –but it is difficult because there are new players on the scene –which makes everything more complex. as we progress in life, like a play, the interaction becomes more complex due to new characters arriving and changing things –and this can cause original players to be put off –and not able to adapt –thus conflict ensues and causes frustration.
Month: January 2011
why do people give excuses before they even review the task ahead of them? i can’t stand it. this is the one thing in life that gets to my very core. what is this natural human instinct to give an excuse? i don’t understand it. here is the task, please go do it. but, we have to do this and this and this to achieve this task –and there is no way we can complete the task in the time alloted. okay, and your point is? do you just not want to do the task? is that what is driving this train of thought? why do you immediately go to the potential roadblocks? why don’t you look at in a positive light –that the completion of this task might help your progress? and then why do i get so upset with these type of answers? i tend to lose my cool a bit in these scenarios. i revert to my urge to say –“just do it!” how do i overcome these urges to bark back at excuses? this is a tricky road for me to travel as it could hinder my own advancement –by being very direct when I say –“stop the excuses and do the job” –some people can’t handle this approach and want to stick to the excuses –it is their nature and it is then up to the boss to learn how to manage these individuals in a different way–in a way that is not natural to the individual that just wants to get things done and not have to argue through each and every step of the process. maybe i will just never meld with these types of folks –the ones that look at the negative of everything–that this is too hard and why are we doing this. maybe these types of interactions will always occur and there is no way around them –I just need to learn how to approach them. excuses and people with excuses will always exist.
gerry rafferty died yesterday so i listen to this song again and it tells the story of life. you have dreams when you are young –put in your mind by tv, rockwell, parents, etc –you see the image and you want that life–you think it will come easy, you think you will make the big bucks easy and early –and this propels you forward –which is a good thing –but not a real thing. so you go to the city –the bright lights, the big dreams –and you have fun and you make some money –and you might get lucky here and there because you are working hard and it’s all about timing, good luck and hard work –some get the spark, some don’t. but it is never the dream you had because it does not come easy –and it takes much longer to get to that point where you think you have made it, but it is not the highest point yet –the point in your dreams –but then you realize that this is not the right dream –as you get married and have kids, you work harder, but it is ok not to reach that material high point –it becomes more about family and making sure they are happy and healthy –and the dream is about taking care of them –yes, in a material way–but more so in a growing, caring way –if they are ok, you are ok. great song–it tells it like it is –you just have to realize that dreams can be adjusted as time goes on.