being a parent

of a teenager can be very challenging.  we have all heard this before and i am giving my 2 cents.  what we find as we engage with teenagers as a parent is pure frustration.  we see them acting as if they don’t care about what is going on or what you have done for them.  you get frustrated and you lash out at them.  you don’t realize what you are saying until later – it happens very fast – as you speak from your emotions.  but you do say mean things to them because you are appalled at their behavior.  when they were young, you scolded them, taught them a lesson and moved on.  now you get no response, they just glare at you – they want to defy you.  but you need to quickly realize that losing your temper is not the way to go – it can only draw deep lines between you and your kid – that could last a long time and cause lifelong discomfort.  yes, you do need to keep reprimanding them to teach them a lesson and keep them on the right track – but you must not say awful, mean things to them.  do it once, learn and then don’t do it again.  keep your calm during these years – show your disappointment, continue to teach – but don’t lose control and say things you will regret.  be the adult.