we start off stupid and each day we evolve from this first moment of ground-floor stupidity. this is called the evolution of stupidity. we are stupid at 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, etc –but we do become less stupid in each year that we put behind us. this of course is called gaining wisdom and maturity. this allows us to stop and think before we blurt out answers or comments. this allows us to look smarter as we grow older. this is why older folks appear to answer in a more methodical manner. they are thinking over the answer or the comment very carefully before letting the words come out of their mouth. now sometimes they have answers canned and ready to go because they have already done the work of thinking about what is the correct thing to say –so in this case they appear to be quicker in their response –thus they appear, smart, fast and wise –all at the same time. now that is the position you want to find yourself in –where you have enough experience to have all your answers or comments ready to go –already screened for stupidity –already evolved much further down the path of evolving stupidity. try to think before you speak –though it is very hard for mental midgets before 50, 60, 70–which is it? for some, they never evolve –and that is a shame.
get your ass kicked
i am finding that getting my ass kicked once in a while is good for me. i am talking about life in the dojo again. what a trip. you pay money to literally get your ass kicked by the sensei. at first i was scared shitless –i mean who wants to get punched in the face (of course with face protection on). it freaks you out the first time and gives you flashbacks of 8th grade. but as your time progresses in the dojo, you learn to accept it and actually start liking it. this i believe is experiencing evolution real-time. because if you remain scared shitless, you will in fact not progress in the arts of karate. you need to embrace the ass-whipping! that is what i did last night in the weekly ass kicking –and guess what–it worked–i enjoyed the whole thing. who would have thought that getting your ass kicked would be so much fun. i mean the music is cranking and you and the master are going at it –he is trying to teach you and kick your ass at the same time–wild experience. i feel more alive after this ritual and now realize that if i am ever going to reach black belt, i first need to embrace the ass kicking. i am also sure this is not new info for boxers, etc –but to learn this first hand is pretty cool. go join a dojo and get your ass kicked on a regular basis –quite liberating! thanks sensei
the tone
we think of things and we want to make change. we say we will change and we start off the next day in the change mode. we don’t want to go back to a negative tone, we want to stay in the positive tone. but, events kick in, the daily routine kicks in –life challenges your new tone and then you suddenly revert back to the old tone or the tone you usually follow. but if the current tone is not working to create a positive flow in your life –you must change it or future results will not be good. you can make change if you stop to think and not react as you always do. set the positive tone in your house and with your family –the way you act now with the kids will set their tone for life –so be careful in the tone you set in the house. these kids are soaking it all in and if you are constantly rushing around and always barking orders, it will be detrimental to the tone set in the house and the tone your kids set in their houses, etc. you have a powerful position of influence that can affect generations –so set the positive tone in the house and do not let outside events alter the positive tone. maintain a consistent tone –it will make all the difference.
off to school
it is sad, but you wanted the day to come –strange dichotomy. you want them to get out of your hair, but then you miss them in the same thought. when the last one goes off to elementary school, you enter a new phase in your life with your wife. you had at least one of them around most of the time, but now, after 7 years the freedom begins again. you get more things done, you start saving and making more money, you get better organized and the last 7 years seem like a blur raising them from cuddly babies to kids with a ‘tude. they still cling, but not as much, they still whine, but not as much, they still cuddle, but not as much –the relationship has shifted, but if you did indeed cherish all the key moments with them over the last 7 years –you should be ok. it is like anything –memories fade, life goes on and you live moment to moment –with new surprises and new things to look forward to. but deep down you miss them –and you miss their time growing up more than you miss your own childhood –you remember their childhood more than your own -crazy how that works. soon you will remember your grand-kids childhood more than your kid’s childhood –it is coming fast, but not so fast. take a picture of your kid biking off to school –it will help in the future.
hitting the weights
get in there and hit those bloody weights –i mean make it worth something –you are pissed about something –get in there and take it out on the weights or treadmill or whatever. the point is every day we come across shit that pisses us off –right? don’t BS me–nobody is really that damn nice –even if you show it on the outside, even if you are the quietest person –like a fricking mouse –you still get pissed off –we all do! so get in there and curse like nobody while you pump the weights –tell yourself that you are not going to take that shit, that you will push through and make it happen, that little BS things happen all the time and it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. the reality is we only get pissed off because of insecurities that surface during daily BS –and these insecurities push us to the negative of things happening and going on –then we are like WTF and we get pissed. so get past the insecurity BS and guess what? the only thing that matters is what you think because we are only here for a few years and people kick the bucket every day –so don’t waste time dwelling when the bucket is coming regardless. feel better? I do.
cutting the grass
what a pain in the ass! we are trapped by this suburban BS where each week we have to cut the grass and trim the hedges and trim the driveway and weed whack the edges and blow it all into a pile. we sweat like dogs for 2 hours while we do this process over and over –week after week –all to keep up appearances in the hood. this hood is of course the doldrums of suburbia –where you might have a moment once a week to sit down and have a beer to contemplate your existence in this suburban plight. how did this all come about? we once lived a fast paced life out in the real world–and now we live a fast paced life in our own homes –keeping up with the kids, etc –but if you look out the window, you see the slow-paced life of suburbia –an invisible bubble that we are inevitably trapped in until all the kids leave home –then we sell the house and go back to the real world –if you have enough bread to actually do this –can you tell I’m bored? So bored that this post did not come from a spontaneous thought –so actually a boring post–sorry –I see a blade out of place on the lawn –have to run!! (I mean mow)
kids growing up
there is something about it that is hard to consciously discover –you know what i mean –you can’t put your finger on it. i think i have it though. it is the strange dynamic that is probably not unknown. it is the balance that you hope naturally develops. when they are babies, you look at them and you hug them and you kiss them over and over –it’s like a ball of joy that you look at all the time –you are infatuated with them –it is really a blissful time. you never want this time to end, you never want them to grow up, you want to always hold them and keep them. but something happens as they start to grow. you start to see them as little people and a detachment from the baby infatuation starts to occur. of course you still love them to bits, but it is a new type of love –it is a love that changes and grows with each year –it is better this way because to stay at the baby infatuation phase would not be good for the long run –it would make it much harder to let go when the time comes naturally. this is why our love changes –to protect us and to protect the kids. this is why when they whine, they now get on your nerves a bit –not like when they were babies –they never got on your nerves. it is good that they get on your nerves, so that you can let them go more easily and so that you can transition into the empty nest stage. you need to have a few rough spots with them–to help you let go –because when they are 18, you should want to let them go –this is why the adolescent stage is so tough on all involved –to break the infatuation bond –to be infatuated is not a healthy approach to life. but, while you are in growing stages –relish every moment –get all that you can from it –then you will be ready to change –but enjoy these good old days –don’t let them pass without moments of joy –even though you have to say goodbye one day –it is a bitch that things happen this way –such a conflict of emotions –like trying to end this thought –can’t do it gracefully
addicted to tv
you know you are and if you are not –then get yourself a damn medal because if you are under 50 and don’t watch tv then you have escaped one of the greatest addictions of all time. hey, i know it is not necessarily a bad thing to be addicted to tv –you need that fix where you don’t focus on the BS going around in your world –whether it is those screaming kids or that pain in the ass boss –you have to get away sometime and tv is the cheapest and most available way to get away. the problem is that you get hooked on certain shows and these shows go on for years –they hook you and you are running to watch them each week –plus when one show ends for the year, there is the next addiction-laden show around the corner. you can only break a part of the addiction when a show ends forever –like Lost –i was hooked and now i am free –but lurking in the early summer days is another one ready to hook me. i do need to break away altogether, but still catching up on my DVR stuff –it is like an obligation to watch what you have recorded –that is the only way to free up space on the dvr –right?? anyway–you and i are screwed–we will keep watching and keep wasting away hours that we could have spent inventing the next frisbee -or reading books and gaining knowledge –but screw it –we are only on this dust ball for a few years –might as well kick back and watch tv –gotta run –housewives is on (well, on the dvr)
you are lucky
cut the BS –you are lucky. you are lucky to be alive and reading this. you are lucky to have a job. you are lucky to have a family. you are lucky to have your health. you are lucky to have friends. you are lucky to see the sky. you are lucky to smell the food. you are lucky to walk. you are lucky to talk. you are lucky to sleep. you are lucky to breathe. you are lucky to read. you are lucky to have memories. you are lucky to have today. So cut the self loathing crap and remember that you are lucky. comprende?
the dojo
the dojo is cool. it is a mix of american flags, ying and yang, U2 music, strobe lights, trophys, pictures of champions, mirrors, mats, cubbies for your shoes. it is a place where you learn shit that you have no idea about. it is a place where you find out more about how to use your body. it is a place where you gain confidence. it is a place where you meet cool people, providing that it is not some a-hole running the shop and fortunately in my case –the guy is cool. thus his dojo has a cool vibe and attracts other cool types –mostly musicians, surfers, carpenters –people that are used to using their hands–unlike me. each time in the dojo, i learn more. it is a fascinating experience to actually learn something new every week –but also to know that a new learning is guaranteed and expected. you also need the dojo master to be an exceptional teacher because if you do not understand what is trying to be taught in the dojo, then you will get lost. yes, there is discipline–but it is not extreme. do not go to a dojo with extreme discipline unless you need it. the dojo is cool –a bit strange, but still cool. try it , you only live once.