markers are spots throughout your life that you can look back on to remember the good times. these would be events or trips that you plan specifically to have fun and enjoy life. the markers are the times when you step away from the every day normal routine and do something that brings a thrill to your soul –putting goosebumps on your skin. these are times that you will never forget –times that you anticipate with baited breath –times that make you say “wow’! you know what i mean –it is that girl’s trip or guy’s trip that you make where all daily worries fade away for a few days –where you rip it up and toss caution into the wind –when you stop and smell the roses every minute. you need these markers in life or you really won’t be living a life. markers get you through the daily BS –they get you to the next year, the next week, the next day. make room for marker events in your life otherwise you will live a dull life and die a slow, boring death. you need markers throughout life and you definitely need them at the end so that you can look back and say “yes”. get busy planning and living.
Tag: life
words vs actions
there are so many instances in life where we come up with what we think are great ideas. we think that we need to act on these ideas. we think that we need to fulfill our destiny by acting on these ideas. we think that these ideas will take us away from the mundane lives we live and to the place where we will love what we do. these are our dreams and we want to make them come true. we see our life being full and satisfied. we see a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. we see closure in life being achieved. but the problem is we don’t act on these thoughts. we don’t act on these ideas. we don’t act on these dreams. we don’t act because we are afraid. we don’t act because we are comfortable in our life and we don’t want to risk this level of comfort we have achieved. we don’t act because we want the dream to come true, but don’t quite believe it is the path we should take. we have doubt about going out on a limb. so we don’t act. we just dream. and then we get old and die. dream unfulfilled, but comfort kept intact. what is more important at the end of the road –staying comfortable or taking risk and possibly fulfilling dream? most will choose former –what will you choose?
stop recording my life
facebook! who gave you permission to record my life? who are you? how did you get involved in my life? you act as a meeting place where friends and family can gather. you put up the front of being a familiar place -like my old high school, my old neighborhood, my old house –so very comfortable and soothing. this is all a front to record my life and pull me in to present my life to my friends and family–but also to you. you are watching my every move. you are recording my every moment. you are now in my life and are actually recording my life. stop recording my life. you should not be recording my life. who gave you permission? because i use your platform to talk to friends, you think you can take my data and record it back to me. i will record my own life and i will leave my own mark the way i want to leave it. i will not conform the story of my life to your parameters. where is the button to turn off this “timeline” thing? this is your master plan. gather, gather, gather –then publish my life and billions of others. get out of our lives and stop recording now — pause the program.
do it when you shouldn’t
you know what i mean? not really?? ok –listen closely. you know how most of the time you shouldn’t do things? this could be because you shouldn’t waste the money or the time, right? you need to save the money for a rainy day. you need to be more conservative in your actions so that you are covered in the future. that is all good –and is true for the most part. but guess what? you could drop dead tomorrow. and you will know folks that do just that….too soon. and each time someone does, you need to remind yourself that could have been you. and all the fretting about not doing something because your shouldn’t –that all goes out the window. so when you decide to throw that big bash at your house, but you could use the money for something else. think about how you could drop dead tomorrow. think about how you want to look back and say we had the most fun spending the money, when we shouldn’t have. someone said all we really have is this moment right now. we don’t have the past, we don’t have the future. we have this moment right now. so once in awhile you should live like you could drop dead tomorrow –because you could! what is it all for? it is for thinking about the future a bit –but it is also about thinking about now –it’s all you have that is guaranteed –right now. go do it, go live.
need to reflect
the beauty of life is that we are given many internal signals –warning signs. nothing happens without signals coming first. we can avoid anything if we listen to these signals. but, as imagined, most of these signals go unnoticed. this is the difference between making it happen and not making it happen. you need to be tuned in to what your gut is telling you. if you are not tuned in, you will not have the life you desire. many times we go off the track a bit –and it is the internal gut check that puts us back on the right track. many times the gut check comes at night. you wake up at 4 and your gut jumps right into the conversation. this is when all the thoughts in the back of your mind come to the forefront. even though you want to go back to sleep –you must listen to your thoughts sometimes –and this will help you see what the gut is saying and will help you make the right choice. many times i have awakened after nights like this and i have listened to my gut and i have made the right decisions to put me back on track. one of those decisions is to stay in the moderate mindset –stop going to the excess level –stop acting like you are still 20 -as it will catch up to you and it will steal precious time from your life in the long run. i am reflecting and listening to my gut –to my 4am gut check –and it says to slow down and practice more moderation. slow down and reflect more often –listen to your gut and act on what your gut is saying. it will make a difference. i am saying this–but now i must act–otherwise it won’t mean shit. get it?
building walls
when we start off young in high school, college and soon after –we have no walls. we have a mind of freedom. we don’t see rules and boundaries. we only see what is right in front of us and we go for it. we don’t think it through. we don’t wonder if this is the right thing to do. we just do it. that is the beauty of youth –no walls are up. you meet friends quickly and you just go with it. if a friend drops off –oh well –you are moving too fast to notice most of the time. and the ones that stick with you, they become your lifelong friends. it is a simple, easy process –that we don’t even have to think about –it just happens. you do have to work at it here and there-but a little loyalty goes a long way. 20 years later, you look at the friends you have and see who your best friends are –there are no questions. you can go months without seeing them and when you do –no biggie –falls right back to the place of youth. now–when you move to new places away from your old friends, you have to make new friends. this can be a bit harder than the old days because now you have built up some walls of protection around you — and you do question things more often and you do follow rules a bit more. this can make it even longer to become better friends with someone. you analyze shit more –never a good thing to do –but the walls in your mind push you to question and analyze every move. it is like riding a bike–you know how to make friends–but now you look to see what is around the corner –and this makes you pause, rather than a natural flow to the process. so –what do you do? you take it easy and do not stress over these trivial things. even though walls are there and things take longer –the natural flow will still occur. stop thinking and keep living.
forget the green grass
be grateful for what you have. stop wishing for what they have. look at what you have and see that what you have is great. you are lucky. yes, you have had some bad luck. yes, the path has not been all roses. yes, you did not strike it rich. yes, you are not the most popular person to everyone. yes, you have insecurities that drive you crazy. yes, you are not perfect. yes, you worry about what others think about you. yes, you want to please everyone. yes, you hate getting old and you hate seeing your kids getting old. but guess what? you have it pretty good. you are alive, you are still young enough where health issues are not a problem. you might be lucky enough to have a family. if you are, then this is the main reason to stop bitching and start thanking. be happy for the little things that you have and for the fleeting moments that you have with your family. cherish the nights with them, cherish the days with them. you have friends too –be happy for that. stop looking at the material world and saying “i want that”. you have everything you need already –be happy with that. tell your mind to stop. yes, you want more success and yes, you want more money –but it will all come if you are patient. stop thinking about how you want things to be and be happy with how things are. you can’t please everyone –so let them deal with that fact. just be happy –if you can.
routine
we all have it –you must have it. the daily routine of life is like a well-worn path that we follow every day. it keeps us sane, it keeps us out of trouble, it keeps us alive. we do it without thinking –we embrace each part of it. it is not a complete line every day –but small bits and pieces that we go to for comfort and sanity. it might be strongest in the morning –where you just follow along half asleep –or it might peak in the evening –pushing you towards sleep time. events of the day take us off the routine –and that is wanted and embraced as well -we don’t want to get bored to death. we do always get pulled back to parts of a routine –wake-up, shower, kids off, breakfast, coffee, emails –work -work -work -work –then go home, dinner, kids in bed, tv, read, sleep. we need these bits of routine after a long vacation too. you love vacation and getting out of routine –but then you long for that old routine –you don’t want to vacation all the time –you would get thrown off your course, you would fall out of moderation and into excess. you need routine, you need moderation to reach your goals, to get to the end of the road in one piece, to live longer, to help your kids. you need it, don’t deny it, embrace it!
being mean
i am beginning to believe that this is all part of human nature. we don’t want to be mean –it just happens. and most of the time it happens in our own mind –so the rest of the world doesn’t even hear us being mean or they rarely know that we are being mean. you see someone or hear someone saying something–and your mind quickly goes into action –and sometimes the thoughts that come into your mind are mean and critical thoughts about that person –it might even be “that was a stupid thing to do –what a dope”. but most of the time you don’t say it aloud. so the reality is we are all mean to other people at some point or another –and this is due to human nature and to your experiences in life. it could be as simple as bad manners. you were brought up with the best manners, for example, and you see someone chewing with their mouth open –and you immediately go to mean thoughts in your mind –but you do not say anything. this is the most common example of being mean –you say these mean thoughts in your mind and the only thing you need to worry about is your self-guilt for saying these things. you tell yourself–“don’t think those mean things about people –be a better person”. the 2nd phase is the hard one –where you think mean thoughts and then you say them aloud –immediately altering the image of yourself in the eyes of others. they start to think –“that is a mean person” –and thus your reputation as a mean person grows and you soon find yourself alone or hanging out with other mean people. this is the hardest thing to master –almost to the point of changing your personality a bit. if you are a hyper person like i am, then your mind races faster than your mouth and sometimes things slip out –because you want to make your comment right away –you often skip the part of making sure the comment is a good one to say aloud. i do this all the time–at least once a week–where i say a stupid comment and think to myself –oh, shit! –did i just say a mean comment aloud. but i have made some progress –i do find myself going through the comments in my mind and then skipping over them and not saying them aloud –knowing that they would hurt someone. but i am not out of the woods yet –it must come with older age –where patience sets in and you begin to understand that it is better to listen most of the time rather than speak all the time. each close call i have makes me think more about this process. i need to slow down a bit and have fewer missteps -i need to practice more.
the gut
is what it is all about. You live by it, you die by it. If your gut says do this or do that – then do it. The gut will not steer you wrong- it will steer you right. You must listen to the gut, it is the truth, it is the only truth in your life. If you don’t listen to your gut then you will make mistakes in life. Sometimes the gut can actually speak out of your mouth. You will feel something from the gut first and then you will speak the thought of the gut. When this happens, you know the gut is right and you must listen to exactly what you are saying because you are really saying this to yourself. And of course you know yourself better than anyone or anything. And if you don’t listen to what you are saying to yourself, then you might as well not listen to anything. The trick is getting in tune with your gut. You have to figure out when your gut is telling you something. It will always be there in the background of every feeling and every action in life and most of the time it doesn’t have to shout- you make the right choice without a wake up call. But then every so often, you need to be shouted at if something is not right – hey wake up and make a change because whatever you are doing is not cool with the gut, and if it is not cool with the gut, then you are in trouble- so listen to your gut and get out of trouble.