there are so many instances in life where we come up with what we think are great ideas. we think that we need to act on these ideas. we think that we need to fulfill our destiny by acting on these ideas. we think that these ideas will take us away from the mundane lives we live and to the place where we will love what we do. these are our dreams and we want to make them come true. we see our life being full and satisfied. we see a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. we see closure in life being achieved. but the problem is we don’t act on these thoughts. we don’t act on these ideas. we don’t act on these dreams. we don’t act because we are afraid. we don’t act because we are comfortable in our life and we don’t want to risk this level of comfort we have achieved. we don’t act because we want the dream to come true, but don’t quite believe it is the path we should take. we have doubt about going out on a limb. so we don’t act. we just dream. and then we get old and die. dream unfulfilled, but comfort kept intact. what is more important at the end of the road –staying comfortable or taking risk and possibly fulfilling dream? most will choose former –what will you choose?
Category: Life
stop recording my life
facebook! who gave you permission to record my life? who are you? how did you get involved in my life? you act as a meeting place where friends and family can gather. you put up the front of being a familiar place -like my old high school, my old neighborhood, my old house –so very comfortable and soothing. this is all a front to record my life and pull me in to present my life to my friends and family–but also to you. you are watching my every move. you are recording my every moment. you are now in my life and are actually recording my life. stop recording my life. you should not be recording my life. who gave you permission? because i use your platform to talk to friends, you think you can take my data and record it back to me. i will record my own life and i will leave my own mark the way i want to leave it. i will not conform the story of my life to your parameters. where is the button to turn off this “timeline” thing? this is your master plan. gather, gather, gather –then publish my life and billions of others. get out of our lives and stop recording now — pause the program.
do it when you shouldn’t
you know what i mean? not really?? ok –listen closely. you know how most of the time you shouldn’t do things? this could be because you shouldn’t waste the money or the time, right? you need to save the money for a rainy day. you need to be more conservative in your actions so that you are covered in the future. that is all good –and is true for the most part. but guess what? you could drop dead tomorrow. and you will know folks that do just that….too soon. and each time someone does, you need to remind yourself that could have been you. and all the fretting about not doing something because your shouldn’t –that all goes out the window. so when you decide to throw that big bash at your house, but you could use the money for something else. think about how you could drop dead tomorrow. think about how you want to look back and say we had the most fun spending the money, when we shouldn’t have. someone said all we really have is this moment right now. we don’t have the past, we don’t have the future. we have this moment right now. so once in awhile you should live like you could drop dead tomorrow –because you could! what is it all for? it is for thinking about the future a bit –but it is also about thinking about now –it’s all you have that is guaranteed –right now. go do it, go live.
moderation
a funny thing happened at a party the other night –I was one of the first to leave. sure, i was still having fun, and sure, i still had a buzz –but when i announced to the usual crew i’m checking out for the night –the folks were shocked. what happened to the usual party guy? the one that has been kicking it up the latest at parties for 20 years. i realized that i wasn’t 20 anymore. i realized that i don’t need to be the last to leave a party. i can have fun to a point and not drink past the memory limit. i can start to live in moderation from all aspects. i have most of the other areas down for moderation –and just needed to dial down this area too. can i still hit the high notes once in awhile –sure. but i need to pull back a bit. i need to be more moderate in this area–or it will bite me in the ass when i get older –it could shorten my life a bit –not good. it is a new year –and i am going to practice moderation more–in all areas –drink, finance, spending, etc
good judgement
good judgement is hard to come by in life. many times when you are young, you practice bad judgement. i’m not talking about the major gut decisions. i’m talking about should you drink and then drive. or should you jump off that cliff on you vacation in Greece. or should you cross the highway at night. these types of judgement calls can often mean life or death. and many times, they come when your mind is not right–under a few drinks, maybe. and if this is the case–it is hard to make the right call –dash across the street or wait until it is absolutely clear? if you are sober, you can make this call calmly. taking the drink out of the equation –you need to make sure you make the right judgement calls where an accident can easily occur with the wrong call. the reality is –yeah you can end your life with the wrong call -but when you are gone, you won’t even know it –you will only know that last minute right after you make the wrong call –the “oh shit” moment. you won’t feel anything after that. what you will screw up is what you could done with your life and how you hurt the people you left behind. they are the ones hurting. they are the ones who get screwed if you make the bad judgement call. much of life is luck–no doubt. but, you can help steer that luck in your direction with just 1 or 2 good judgement calls. make the good call –it’s easy.
need to reflect
the beauty of life is that we are given many internal signals –warning signs. nothing happens without signals coming first. we can avoid anything if we listen to these signals. but, as imagined, most of these signals go unnoticed. this is the difference between making it happen and not making it happen. you need to be tuned in to what your gut is telling you. if you are not tuned in, you will not have the life you desire. many times we go off the track a bit –and it is the internal gut check that puts us back on the right track. many times the gut check comes at night. you wake up at 4 and your gut jumps right into the conversation. this is when all the thoughts in the back of your mind come to the forefront. even though you want to go back to sleep –you must listen to your thoughts sometimes –and this will help you see what the gut is saying and will help you make the right choice. many times i have awakened after nights like this and i have listened to my gut and i have made the right decisions to put me back on track. one of those decisions is to stay in the moderate mindset –stop going to the excess level –stop acting like you are still 20 -as it will catch up to you and it will steal precious time from your life in the long run. i am reflecting and listening to my gut –to my 4am gut check –and it says to slow down and practice more moderation. slow down and reflect more often –listen to your gut and act on what your gut is saying. it will make a difference. i am saying this–but now i must act–otherwise it won’t mean shit. get it?
run and think
every day has its challenges. and though these issues are not very serious most of the time –they do affect your mind and your mood of the moment. they can cause you to lash out at your loved ones. they can cause you to be depressed. they can cause you to think everything is hopeless. they can cause you to think you are getting nowhere. but what can often help is a run or a bike ride to get your mind straight. this won’t wash your troubles away –but it will help you to overcome the momentary lapse into depression. when you start the run, for example, you mind is searching for a topic to think about and oftentimes your thoughts of worry will surface first. this is very similar to waking up in the middle of the night –your thoughts go right to worry. the difference is the time of day. you have more control of your worries in the daytime. once you latch on to the thoughts at the start of the run –you are still in the area of worry. but as the run progresses, you shift away from the worry and start to think about the resolution to this worry. your mind strengthens and you gain back your usual confidence. you then see that this worry is not that bad –it is not life threatening or life changing. you can bounce back with the positive thoughts. you can see the light. so next time you are worried –go run and think.
building walls
when we start off young in high school, college and soon after –we have no walls. we have a mind of freedom. we don’t see rules and boundaries. we only see what is right in front of us and we go for it. we don’t think it through. we don’t wonder if this is the right thing to do. we just do it. that is the beauty of youth –no walls are up. you meet friends quickly and you just go with it. if a friend drops off –oh well –you are moving too fast to notice most of the time. and the ones that stick with you, they become your lifelong friends. it is a simple, easy process –that we don’t even have to think about –it just happens. you do have to work at it here and there-but a little loyalty goes a long way. 20 years later, you look at the friends you have and see who your best friends are –there are no questions. you can go months without seeing them and when you do –no biggie –falls right back to the place of youth. now–when you move to new places away from your old friends, you have to make new friends. this can be a bit harder than the old days because now you have built up some walls of protection around you — and you do question things more often and you do follow rules a bit more. this can make it even longer to become better friends with someone. you analyze shit more –never a good thing to do –but the walls in your mind push you to question and analyze every move. it is like riding a bike–you know how to make friends–but now you look to see what is around the corner –and this makes you pause, rather than a natural flow to the process. so –what do you do? you take it easy and do not stress over these trivial things. even though walls are there and things take longer –the natural flow will still occur. stop thinking and keep living.
forget the green grass
be grateful for what you have. stop wishing for what they have. look at what you have and see that what you have is great. you are lucky. yes, you have had some bad luck. yes, the path has not been all roses. yes, you did not strike it rich. yes, you are not the most popular person to everyone. yes, you have insecurities that drive you crazy. yes, you are not perfect. yes, you worry about what others think about you. yes, you want to please everyone. yes, you hate getting old and you hate seeing your kids getting old. but guess what? you have it pretty good. you are alive, you are still young enough where health issues are not a problem. you might be lucky enough to have a family. if you are, then this is the main reason to stop bitching and start thanking. be happy for the little things that you have and for the fleeting moments that you have with your family. cherish the nights with them, cherish the days with them. you have friends too –be happy for that. stop looking at the material world and saying “i want that”. you have everything you need already –be happy with that. tell your mind to stop. yes, you want more success and yes, you want more money –but it will all come if you are patient. stop thinking about how you want things to be and be happy with how things are. you can’t please everyone –so let them deal with that fact. just be happy –if you can.
routine
we all have it –you must have it. the daily routine of life is like a well-worn path that we follow every day. it keeps us sane, it keeps us out of trouble, it keeps us alive. we do it without thinking –we embrace each part of it. it is not a complete line every day –but small bits and pieces that we go to for comfort and sanity. it might be strongest in the morning –where you just follow along half asleep –or it might peak in the evening –pushing you towards sleep time. events of the day take us off the routine –and that is wanted and embraced as well -we don’t want to get bored to death. we do always get pulled back to parts of a routine –wake-up, shower, kids off, breakfast, coffee, emails –work -work -work -work –then go home, dinner, kids in bed, tv, read, sleep. we need these bits of routine after a long vacation too. you love vacation and getting out of routine –but then you long for that old routine –you don’t want to vacation all the time –you would get thrown off your course, you would fall out of moderation and into excess. you need routine, you need moderation to reach your goals, to get to the end of the road in one piece, to live longer, to help your kids. you need it, don’t deny it, embrace it!